Being independent-phobia

Growing up is difficult, we develop fears whether rational or irrational. Our fears may confine and harbor us from achieving our goals. Yet in an optimistic point of view, our fears can motivate us to accomplish our ambitions. For me, it has always been the fear of moving out and being financially independent. Ever so often this fear haunts and still continues to haunt me to this very day. Moving out is a great responsibility. It means finding a place to rent, paying the bills and medication, buying groceries and meeting our unnecessary desires. It means your mother will no longer spoon feed you. It means your mother will no longer clean up your mess. It means your mother will no longer be partially held responsible for your mischief in society.The thought of putting my wardrobe, the money in my savings account and my adult responsibilities into a suitcase puts me deeper in my misery.
My fear originated when I was in kindergarten. I was the biggest rebel in class. I was always getting into trouble and had to stay after school for my parents to discuss my issues with the teacher. Sure it must just be the process of growing up, after all, I was only a kid. However, it was a serious issue to my parents if it continued to persist.
During a long weekend, me and my family traveled down to Seattle for a short trip. We stopped in Chinatown for Chinese dinner. We parked our car in a dark alleyway. As we approached the meter to pay, I witnessed a group of homeless teens. Their skin was blistered and scarred. Their hair was greasy and long. Their clothes were filthy and grungy.
At the restaurant, my father strictly told me. I still remember this vividly to this day.
"Do you see those boys out there son?" my father said I gulped and held my breath.
"This is what happens when you don't do well in school. When you don't do well in school, you become homeless or  you end up working in fast food. Working in fast food means no money. No money means no fancy car or luxury mansions. No fancy car and luxury mansions means no good looking wife. No good looking wife means misery. You decide son, you are making the choice"
My father's words has made me very fearful of the day when I move out and I become responsible for myself. Even though this fear is so raw and bloodcurdling, it motivates me to become confident for the day I become independent. I contribute to my motivation by trying my best in my studies, building a rich resume and being active in my community.Yet my fear of moving out and being financially stable haunts me, it inspires me to become to become hardworking and ambitious.

Three Quotes and their Significance

In short summary of chapter two, Nan (Mack's wife) and kids return home. His wife discovers the wounds when he slipped and fell on ice. The author then compares a heavy quilt to Mack's depression over Missy's (Mack's daughter): "Shortly after the summer that Missy vanished, The Great Sadness had draped itself around Mack's shoulder like some invisible but almost tangibly heavy quilt (26-27)." This quote is important because Young uses it to create imagery in the reader's mind for emphasis. When we think of a heavy quilt, we often think of being lethargic, burdened, unmotivated, and simply depressed. Young uses this quote to draw out the emotions of Mack so the reader can possibly connect with the character.
The story then takes place on Labor Day weekend when Mack takes his children camping. Missy begs her father to tell the story of Legend of Multnomah Falls.  The tale Mack told to his children was about a native tribe where the chief loves his daughter, the princess. Unfortunately, a contagious disease spreads kills many of the tribesmen. The medicine man of the tribe tells that the sickness can only be stopped if the daughter of the chief jumps off a cliff. In short, the princess jumps to her death and the plague was lifted. When Mack finished telling the story, Missy compared the tale to Jesus' sacrifice by saying: "Well, the Great Spirit makes the princess jump off the cliff and makes Jesus die on a cross. That seems really mean to me (33)". In this quote, Missy is referring the Great Spirit to God and saying that he is cruel and mean to mortals. I find that this is ironic because by reading the prologue in this novel, we know that Missy will be abducted during the family's vacation. Yet, she talks about how God is unfair to mortals by taking their lives. This is a type of cosmic irony because Missy expresses God as mean, yet we know that she will eventually be abducted. This may hint that God punishes her for saying that he is "so mean (33)".
In chapter three, two of the children take a canoe trip to the lake. Sadly, Josh (Mack's son) is caught underwater of a tipped canoe. In the end, Josh is pulled to shore. In the last line of the chapter the author says: "A potential crisis has been averted. Or so Mack though (44)". I think the narrator of this line is speaking from God because he seems to be predictive. The author uses foreshadowing to hint the reader that something greater and more devastating will happen upon Mack. Either it may be Missy being abducted or maybe something more ominous.

What do you think? Do you agree with me? Do you have a different interpretation? Please share your comment in the comment section below!

3v0lushin~

                As we all know this week, we've been stressing a lot the trends and changes of the English language. In fact, we debated and shared our opinions whether it is a growth or decay. However, as you may be concerned, I strongly disagree on these trends of English. Due to our advanced technology such as MSN, twitter, facebook and SMS words have been abbreviated and simplified. We have adapted to using these textisms in academic assignments, business communications and even resumes. This practice has gone out of control and our society needs to realize that textisms should be kept inside our social lives only. Personally, I think that it is a great loss to our language. The reason why we study Shakespearean pieces is to embrace and observe the creative ways of literature in the ages. By abbreviating words in our language, it puts all the hard work of constructing English into waste. English class is designed to educate students of using literary devices, diverse vocabulary, correct grammar etc. Inserting textisms defeat the purpose of education; it degrades our education level.

                 In the French language, the French are very concerned about preserving their language. They in fact have people pick out English words from their vocabulary and introduce a new word in their language. I believe that the English language needs to follow that practice of excluding words that degrade our language.

                In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the idea of merging textisms in our formal situations because it degrades our language. Hard work has been put into developing vocabulary in our language and by simplifying it puts the hard work to waste. Textisms should be kept in our social lives and not in formal situations. Please comment on this post. I invite you to challenge my point of view.

The Shack

            In the novel The Shack by William Young, Mackenzie Philips or "Mack" is the character addressed most in the story. Mack is a married to his wife Nan and has three children. In the first chapter, it takes place in where Mack is alone and the weather outside deteriorates. During that time, he discovers a note in his mailbox that states "Mackenzie, It's been a while. I've missed you. I'll be at the shack next weekend if you want to get together. -Papa" Mack becomes upset towards the note and expresses his negative thoughts. Upset and concerned, Mack decides to contact the post office to determine whether or not the postman had left the note. However, he was told that due to the poor weather he couldn't deliver mail to him. In the chapter, his wife Nan calls him to let him know that she'll be staying another night with their kids because of the weather. During the conversation, Mack "chang[es] the subject to avoid (23)" his wife asking questions about the note. My first impression of Mack, is that he's a short tempered person. Even though the note in the mailbox may be significant, he demonstrates his anger towards the note. In fact, what makes it even more obvious is that he calls the post office to determine the sender of the note. However, my impression of him may change overtime because the note may have a personal meaning to him since the note was unclear to the reader. In addition to my first impression, I determined that he may seem like a liar. Instead of telling his wife about the note, he hinders the truth by abruptly changing the topic. In a way it may seem like lying but it's obvious that he's holding something against his wife. This character is definitely relatable, not specifically, but the idea of hindering the truth or an event to a love one. Many in society undergo these dilemmas they believe that hiding the truth will keep the peace in the relationship. However in my opinion, hiding the truth seems like a bad idea. If one were to find out that somebody was holding something against them, they would be more upset with them rather than having them tell them at first. In observance of this chapter, I think Nan (Mack's wife) will eventually find out about the note. Mack may learn that hindering the truth from his wife wasn't be best strategy of handling the situation with the note. Since the note asks Mack to meet in the shack, my assumption is that Mack will undergo an important lesson. This is evident because this novel is based on a Christian theme. Overall, I think Mack will quickly find out the full meaning of the note sent by "Papa"(23).

The Truth Under The Mask

Addiction can cause people to loose control. This is usually driven by the lack of confidence and insecurities. As a city dweller, I myself was addicted and obsessed with fashion luxuries to fill my emptiness. Many of us believe that most problems are sourced by external forces. However, the greatest challenges we face are within ourselves.
I grew up in a middle class family. My father owned a small business and my mother stayed home taking care of me. Every weekend, my parents would take me out to the ice cream store for a treat and let me pick out a toy at the Toys R  Us. My life was fulfilled, I thought I had everything I could imagine. However, my perspective of fulfillment all changed the year I turned fifteen. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in downtown Vancouver city dwellers, tourists and shoppers overwhelmed the streets. Out of the large crowd, I spotted a girl. Her hair glistened in the sun as it revealed her silky glossy hazel curls. The sunglasses she wore were elegantly studded with gems as it flashed the Chanel logo. She had the smile of success, fame, pride and prosperity as she flamboyantly talked on her latest Blackberry phone. Her arm was prized with the newest Tiffany and Co. bracelet as it drew all eyes on her. On her hand, she held the latest Dior tote of the season. To accomodate her long and slender legs, she wore the skinniest pair of Dolce and Gabbana denim jeans. To top it off, a pair of the limited edition Louboutin stilettos.
I paused, I felt as if toxic venom entered my bloodstream. My eyes gleamed with jealousy as if smoke were to escape from them. The pores in my body was clogged with envy. I stopped, I looked at myself. A rotten pair of Old Navy jeans and an American Eagle t-shirt that looked like an old dish cloth. I felt ashamed, I wanted to hide myself.  I had to do something to rival her.
To my advantage, I emptied my bank accounts. I dashed into designer stores desperately searching for the newest pair of jeans, the iconic bag and the newest cardigan. Afer walking out of the store, a smile was glued on my face. I wanted people to appreciate the success and prosperity that I could afford designer luxury.
Unfortunately after a week, I felt the same as before. It seemed that the sense of joy and pride has escaped from me. I thought that if I went to get more designer clothes it would continue to make me feel happy and confident.
As time passed, I accumulated a new wardrobe filled with Italian jeans, dress shirts and French designer bags. The feeling of pride and success didn't seem to occur to me. I looked in the mirror, I couldn't recognize myself. It wasn't me, I was masked by another person. In fact, I felt worst than how I did before. It was as if I was obligated to get a new outfit each week. I felt unsatisfied and unfulfilled.
One day, my best friend wrote to me saying that she was concerned with my shopping addiction. She assumed that I was obviously feeling insecure and confident. At that moment, I realized that being unconfident and feeling judged by other people was the real issue. I learned that my addiction was rooted from my insecurities.
From my experience with addiction, the first step was to stop my uncontrollable shopping habits and learn to heal from being unconfident. Instead of being jealous of people on the streets that are covered in brand name labels. I learned to question whether they are proud or may it be their insecurities they are covering up.
Most of the time, we consider challenges we face as external forces. I thought that people in brand name clothes wanted to belittle me. However, I realized that the issue was from my lack of confidence. Sometimes, the greatest obstacles are with ourselves.